Doing the Wrong Thing that You Love to Do

It's close to 12am, this officially announce the end of my usual weekend before I have to return to my 5 consecutive mindful of workload with very little time for my own. Just like everybody else.

Such short duration always make working adults refuse to sleep early and prefer to stay up and do something relaxing and trying to forget about how much time left before we should get ready for bed.

But one thing got in my way: I need to complete filling up my time sheet for the last week before I got my very first message from my boss asking me to complete my time sheet even before I manage to reach the office to do so.

I knew I got a strong resistance to complete my time sheet as the first thing I do to start my Monday morning, so I figure that I should fulfill this duty before I end the weekend in my own term.

My laptop is on, same as my home laptop. I need to review the list of things that I had done for the week and fill in my time sheet accordingly. At the same time, I'm pretty hook up with an old game site that I found recently that allow me to download any old games for free.

Being an old timer like me, I always like to browse through infinite list of old games and see which one call back my good old memories. I spent some of my time checking the game that made up my childhood and wouldn't mind to waste some of my time now doing the same.

People like me who fall under Enneagram type 5, we prefer to make a good use of our time as much as we could. I love to watch movie, although I've been denying it for quite some time. It's like I feel like I'm not wasting my time enough, I also browse through sites for older movies that are good and I would love to broaden my insights from there.

Browsing through movies is a higher priority, so that I can move the movie screen to my another monitor and let the movie run as I browse through a long game list. When I have not decided which movie I should spend my precious night time for it, as I switch to the next page of the movie list, I switch back to the game list and continue browsing until the movie list completely loaded.

At one point, I feel like my time is being utilized well. Not until I forcefully remind myself that I have another laptop turn on, waiting for me to complete my time sheet duty before I can let the laptop rest for the night before going through what I have to go through the next day.

That actually make me feel bad, as you may have guessed. Conventionally, entertainment are desserts, whatever main job or task is the main meals that we should work on before we touch on the sweet stuff. I know as much as you that people have all the reasons to say that it's wrong to left your unfinished business behind and satisfy your freedom desire.

If you are as normal as myself, needless to say, we are pretty clear that we should work on the important and high priority thing before we started to do anything to increase our happiness/freedom gauge.

As confuse as it is, majority of us failed to understand why we choose to do things that our inner conscious told us that we would feel better doing so despite having some real deal to work on. Hope you learn that you are not alone if you ever face such unexplained mindful conflicts.

Here's the thing: we still choose to do that "wrong" thing.

When exams are coming up, we know that we should be spending time devouring whatever is available in the textbooks as soon as possible, but found ourself watching TV, playing games, reading our own favorite storybook, or anything that has nothing to do with what you suppose to do. Even if we stare right into the textbook, our mind is somewhere else. We have some tough time pulling ourself back into our first main priority.

What would you do when it's 12am and you knew that you should be lying on the bed preparing to shut down your mind and get a full rest so that you can face whatever comes to you on the next day, yet you found yourself starring at your computer, doing whatever that may be insignificant but your inner conscious give you strong reasons to keep you awake?

Many successful theories resolve such situations with self discipline. Trying to abstain ourself from activities and behavior that doesn't provide practical benefit to us. However, if you are fortunate enough to experience the real state of being true to your own inner voice, you knew that holding back your true feeling and force yourself to do things because that is the thing that you should do isn't the perfect answer for yourself.

Self conflict often being experienced as an individual and we constantly question ourself why we are not doing what we suppose to do. That eventually result in procrastination, self doubt, and decrease of self confidence in decision making.

Guess what? You really have to stop fighting with yourself and that inner voice that seems to be nothing but evil that persuade you to do what you are not suppose to do. Perhaps I should put it this way, there isn't really anything that you shouldn't do in your life, it's just that it may not be the right time to do it.

That doesn't mean it's wrong, not at all. As long as it's logical and reasonable enough for you to do it, don't think of it as a wrong thing. And stop doubting or blaming yourself for not focusing on your main priority. That is just a matter of self discipline, as mentioned before, but do not make the matter sounds really bad by thinking that it is wrong.

Somewhere in the corner of this world, there are many who do the exact same thing as you. But not everyone take this as a right or wrong thing, because they don't need to. When they need to make a decision between main priority and things that they want to do, it's just a matter of adjustment and acknowledgement.

In layman terms, it's about "how much" to do between the two. Say, you addiction of gaming is on, but it's 15 minutes until 12am, and you have to sleep at sharp 12. Sleeping is your main priority, and playing game is the thing you love to do.

Make your time precious, do what you love to do and make sure you enjoy it. When the time is up, tell yourself that you done it, and don't be greedy.

The next part is very important, you need to recognize that you did it. Most people did something, but they felt like they have not do anything at all and grief for the insufficient time spent on it, instead of appreciating the little thing that they able to do even though it's for short moment.

Having this small twist of your mindset able to make you feel that you had fulfilled your desire, and your day is not wasted for not doing things that are meaningful to your life.

It's important to focus on your priority, be it your inescapable duty or responsibility, but it's equally important not to ignore the little things that you love to do even though it may seems insignificant or unrelated to your main priority.

Even if it sounds wrong to others, be true to your inner voice. Recognize why you love them, and give yourself space to achieve them. This mindset can make your life so much more fulfilled and attain great sense of accomplishment other than just doing the so-call "suppose to do" things.

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Why Most People Failed because of Planning

Planning is considered to be the core of everything before you actually started doing something. If you had experience going through some tough time in life, try to recall how many times that things are so much tougher than what you initially expected and try to think, would things became better if you had invested the necessary time for a complete plan before you actually dive into it?

Around my near-30th generation, I begin to experience hell lots of planning needed for almost every single thing that I need to fill up in my daily life. And I'm also at the stage where I can observe and easily see how others deal with their planning.

I'm always interested to see friends who wanted to start a business and at the stage of planning where they suppose to sketch the entire route map and list down the A to Z of their business plan. What interest me the most, is how much struggle they had during planning.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I enjoy seeing people struggle and lost of direction to do something that they suppose to have great interest with. Just that the idea behind "doing something that they are interested with but at the same time, they had so much struggle in it" is kind of an ironic yet it's a real life situation occurred behind the human mind.

The Anatomy of Doing What You Like But You Ought to Struggle A Lot

Isn't it sounds familiar somehow? If it's something that you like to do or you have a strong desire to achieve it, where is the struggle coming from? Isn't that sounds like you wanted to torture yourself?

The truth is, doing things that you like doesn't always means the subject contain only things that you like and there is absolutely nothing that you don't like.

Being in a relationship with someone you love has the same concept. You love someone because of certain traits that attracted you. But at the same time, there is no human being that you would only love and he or she is so perfect that there is nothing you dislike or hate about it. You love the person you love, but at the same time you dislike or hate something that they have.

It's the same for planning for business. You love the idea where you are the owner of the business, and you are capable of taking up something challenging and hold certain positive value in the society and the business world that has the chance to compete and show the people and the world how capable are you to grow the little seed of yours into a huge and significant business, but you hate it when the times come where you have to deal with all sort of stuff that is not in your preference list but you know that you must go through them to get what you want.

Irony or not, that's how people practically is. There is no perfect plan in the world where you can just do what you want to do and throw away whatever you don't like but still able to achieve what you want. Those who want to do so ought to struggle even more because when they refuse to accept the reality, the cruel reality get to become more visible and taunt down their life. And thus, became one of the reasons you see situation where the more people hate about a subject, the stronger desire they had to do it.

And unfortunately, people is a creature that strongly depending on their feeling and desire. It's bloody difficult to accept something that you dislike and hate something that you like. In the end of the day, we frequently looks ridiculous to ourself when we say that we hate it but we want to do it so much. And we suffer a lot because of such a double edge feeling in our heart. As well as doing something that we really love to do even if it's something that you've been desired since years ago, you ended up hate doing it.

The Misconception Between Planning and Result

From my experience dealing with people, many people out there know the importance of planning. "Failed to plan is plan to failed" is always a practical idea for me, so it's a good thing I see people willing to put effort into planning.

The only problem is, I doubt people actually have any solid idea of why is the planning all about other than doing it because other people is doing it, or the so-call "successful" people are doing them, so they should do it.

One of the struggles is the idea of trying to use planning to achieve result. Well, you want result and therefore you need a good plan that can help you to eventually achieve the desire result. The idea is great and nothing wrong, just not accurate enough and that could increase the chance of failure and cause more obstacles than ever if you didn't consider properly.

Try to visualize and think about the concept of Planning-Result methodology to run a business, any type of business will do.

In this case, I will use a florist business as example. Imagine this, I wanted to run a florist business because I love flowers and plants, I want to own a shop that is full of beautiful and natural flowers and plants that looks colorful, feel comfortable and refreshing for whoever step into my shops. In the Planning-Result methodology, this will be my concept:

• Planning: To identify ways to gather the flowers and plants, and get a place to run the business
• Result: Own a florist shop full of natural and colorful flowers and plants

Now that I done what was stated in my planning, I got all the flowers and plants that I want, and I got a pretty nice place to put all my colorful kids, I can start decorating and run my business just like how I visualize it in the beginning.

But hey, is my desire result just to create a florist business like that for awhile or for long term? Needless to say, it's for long term, so where are all the following thoughts and planning gone to?

• Tools to maintain flowers and plants
• The brand of fertilizer for all the colorful kids
• Long term renting budget & planning for the shops/place
• The type of design and pattern to decorate the shop so that all plants and flowers look beautiful and comfortable
• Who is my targeted customer?
• Who is the supplier for fertilizer and tools?
• How much I need to earn per month to cover up all operation expenses to maintain the business?
• How much I'm able to earn after reducing all operation expenses for the business and is that enough for my living?
• Etc.

If I had thought of this in the beginning of my planning, my Planning-Result methodology suppose to be something like this:

All these little fragments are not something that I can finish them within a single day, probably not even a month or two. Every single one of them need another set of complete planning and thoughts, and they are necessary to maintain the result of owning a florist that full of the colorful and natural design, AND to maintain it as a business in a long term.

Now look at all the little fragments between the Planning-Result. With all the fragments stacking up, touching on the final result that I want is actually quite far away and not every single part of them is what I truly want to do, but I have to do it because that's what could achieve and maintain the result that I wanted.

And here is the main point:

Things that I want	Things that I hate but I have to do it
Own a florist business with colorful and comfortable flowers and plants	Deal with planning on budgeting & operation cost, dealing with suppliers, targeted customers, etc

When you learn that there are so much that you need to cater for when you plan, and you can't escape from it, you will feel the burden even though you knew that it's part of what you want in the end. As you go with it, you easily feel fed up and tired, and you might get to a point of wondering why are you doing this at the first place.

Don't find it hilarious or silly, it's actually quite natural for feeling tired over something that you have interest in but when it's not part of your preferences. This is exactly the burden and uneasy feeling that rip off your interest and passion to continue going for what you planning to achieve in the earlier stage.

Do not fall into Result Focused Mindset

Planning-Result is a straight forward thinking that somehow lead people to think that the end of their planning would be the result. It's just natural that we start to do planning and do all sort of things because we want the result. But reality don't work that way. planning is not a method to achieve result, it's a complete thoughts that help to identify the path you need to take, as well as identify which are the stepping stones and rocks that you need to beware and look into.

And all these definitely take time. If you are planning to achieve things as soon as possible, it's quite likely that the result would not be fruitful and you won't enjoy as much as you thought it would.

Planning is not just something that you need to do so that you can get the result. It's mean far more than that. It demonstrate how much you are capable of building the necessary path towards the desire direction. And the direction is not all about result, it's not suppose to be a straight path moving directly to the destination.

Your path should allow you to gain more and expose to more opportunity other than the result itself. If you see nothing but the result during your planning, I doubt you truly understand what's the result is all about.

Instead of going all the way towards one destination, create a path where you can learn more and make yourself a better person. Even if it's only for planning, it doesn't take only planning & management skill to draft a good plan.

You need perseverance, and you need to learn that you can't rush things out. You must achieve things one step at a time, and the targeted achievement need to be practical, small but meaningful enough to make progress.

You also need good decision making skill and deal with trade off. There are always times where you have to choose over something you dislike and work on it without failed, and best without complaining and hate it when things don't go as plan.

Last but not least, you need constantly watch where you are going. Planning is a must in the beginning, but it's also crucial in the long run. You don't plan because people say you should plan before doing something, you plan when you really understand planning is a practical behavior to ensure you know what you are doing and what is your aim, and you can clearly tell people what your idea is all about without hesitate and doubts in yourselves.

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Actual Meaning of Wasting Time

We all know what does it means by wasting time Precisely, claiming that someone is wasting their time basically just means that they are doing things that doesn’t create actual value for themselves and/or for others.

There are unlimited behaviour and situation where people are considered as wasting their time but the most important factor in this post is regarding the type of value that wasting time is referring to when people use that term.

One common situation where you heard people use the terms “wasting time” is when people play games. Especially for the elders, our generation are very well aware of their perception that playing games is nothing but entertainment and only meant for fun and that’s it. People who play games will not get anything at all afterwards but enjoyment that could not be seen. And the larger concern is the addiction to games and unfillable desire to keep on playing. That is something that contribute to more reasons for elders to think that playing games is absolutely a waste of time.

But we need to consider a fact, games had became one of the major industries in the world of IT. And putting the games addiction aside, games companies are getting better in creating games that not only create the terminal disease call “games addiction”, they also work to produce games that involve educations and learning for people for all ages. And guess what, who are those who developers that create all these games and where did their inspiration came from?

Great inspiration couldn’t be produced by thin air, the games developers are people who experience playing wide range of games and for some reason, they get to produce better idea and turn their idea into output that bring benefits (aside for games addiction) to the society and making the IT world much more creative. Here is my main point in above scenario: If the game developers playing game means wasting time, is this means that their effort to create better game and contribute to the growth of IT world is also meaningless? That’s definitely not, IT world had become much wider to ease our life, and otherwise you wouldn’t be able to read this blog post now and so on.

Most of the time we think that a lot of things that doesn’t mean anything to us are wasting time, but there is one theory I found to be very true: there is nothing that actually waste time in this world. Not only because seconds will keep on counting as you breath on, for every waking moment, your mind is working and thinking. No matter what you do, you are able to utilize your mind to think for something beneficial and for the goods.

Even if you are doing nothing particular such as waiting for bus, standing under the ceiling waiting for the rain to stop, siting at your home sofa to think what you want to do later, or playing a game, your mind is always working and you are able to utilize your capability for thinking and learning.

Sometimes we are bound to certain factors that we couldn’t do what we want that has value for us. For instance, you need to go home to do your work but you couldn’t because of the rain. Instead of feeling frustrated and do nothing but waiting for the rain to stop, you can think and recall what you need to do for your work. Plan about it if you have not do so, think about what is the next step, review your plan to see if there is any way you can work it out faster and better. Or else, think about something else in your mind. Do some thinking, or write down something in your mind if you have notebook or into your phone; if you are playing a game, other than just play on and do what the game ask you to do, you can observe on the design of the game and think how to produce games with amazing graphic and how well is the features of the game compare to others. This is how wasting time does not apply to you when you think about something meaningful in whatever situation you are in.

On the other hand, the actual wasting time would occur if you do not produce a proper thoughts when you could. Take standing under the ceiling while waiting for the rain to stop for instance, you might think about a colleague in the workplace that is offending you or you dislike, or you think about the TV shows that you watch yesterday and try to recall the shows. These thoughts are not a waste of time, but they are a waste of time when you are only thinking about them for the sake of thinking and these thoughts doesn’t give you any value afterwards.

So if you are only thinking about something that you doesn’t need later on, you will be wasting your time as you can always choose to think something better that could improve your life instead of just thinking something that will occur in your life but doesn’t really important afterwards.

This does not only apply to some of the situations in our life that is outside of what we want to do, it also happen when it’s comes to our main life goals such as studies, work, and living. One main concern I have is for people who put high amount of focus in work for salary increment, better performance, and better job advancement. All these definitely create values in our life as better salary means we are able to get better life and better performance means people have better impression on us, and we will eventually become a better person with better status and financial in the society, right? WRONG, why do you need them for?

The very basic concept of this post is one thing: wasting time means doing things that doesn’t create value. Your salary increment and better performance generate more income and better impression for you, and that is true. But what is the value of those in your life? All of us always obsessed with more money and better status so that we can get more things in life and get more fame, but is it true that we can’t live without better income and status? What does better income and status really have to do with the value in your life?

This is something that you need to think through and you have to provide a clear idea for the values of all these efforts for yourself. It’s not the matter of how hard you work for something, it’s all about how much you know what you are working for, and why are those important to you to know that if you are utilizing your time properly to create important values that you truly desire to know that if you are wasting time or not.

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The "Success" that we seek, is nothing but normal life

I'm currently at the stage where the people around my own generation are getting more and more focus on their career, wanted to learn and involve in investment, exploring their network to seek better life and opportunities, and etc. For those who are not doing well, they no longer stay with the same mindset and think that's just they unchangeable fate. They begins to change their job, try to think what's give them better option that open up the road of success and wealth for themselves.

Most of them are getting out from their comfort zone and involve themselves to do things that they dislike, hate, or not really prefer, but often convinced that that is what they suppose to do. In the name of success, before the age of 30, almost all people that I know are doing things that they have never foresee themselves doing this in the past 10 years. Well, sure we could not expect what would happen in the future, but remember those dreams that you once had and realize how much you forgotten about them? We spent massive amount of our teenage time thinking what we want to do in the future and we call them dreams, but now we just want to focus to do what we need to do because that's is known as success.

Being successful is a subjective topic. You can Google and found unlimited answer to it but I'm firm on one thing: no matter how successful you are, you will never consider yourself as successful. Of course, I'm obviously not a successful person, you can persuade yourself that I'm not at the position of saying this so my theory is most probably inaccurate. While this is true, let's look back how we are generally being taught and grew to be successful.

In the education life, we are always being nagged to focus on studies and not too much into games and enjoying life. If possible, no game at all. What we need to focus is to study, and then pressure ourself for exam to get good grades so that we can be labelled as "A's Student". In the final year of your major exam, that's where you are able to be granted with the name of top student if you are able to get excellent result, which is just to get as much A as possible, and then entitled to a piece of paper that stated with printed writing that you are a top grade student with ordinary inks with coloring.

As you proceed with college or university, it's about the same but this time you are given more pressure to the title of some diploma, degree, master degree and PhD holder with CGPA that label how excellent we are, as in how much A we got in our studies, in the same way as previous education level.

Working life does not give you grades or A's no matter how much you work, but most people seek stable income with moderate job satisfaction and once we have that, we frequently explore better job offer. To a certain extent, that's where we look deeper into success by investment and purchasing houses and cars. While seeking ways to constantly improve our capitals, we also spend efforts in create value in the assets that could be seen and measured by people to think how good you are compare to others.

After we established our own family, we are not only spending life in expanding yourself but expanding your family, especially to your children to make them go through the same good education that you experienced in the young age and make sure they have a good solid foundation to be constantly allowed to seek better opportunities and increase their own values. When all your children graduated and able to obtain stable job and income, that's where they able to seek for their own path of success.

As you retired, you have more than enough saving with children and spouse who supported you over the years and not only that you are able to travel to anywhere you want, you officially have your own successful stories of how you gone through a good education background, got yourself stable, great and enjoyable jobs, purchased your own houses and cars under your own name, provide good education and life to your children, completely establish a family of your own, and much more stories to tell as you speak.

There are a lot more details about the type of life that we gone through and we are going towards such directions to work really tough to be successful. But wait.... why is this consider successful?? Isn't this what everyone is doing???

All above that we talks about is basically what's happening every single day and it's nothing really new. You don't have to focus too much of the scenario above because you already knew there is such life out there, and tons of people are doing and achieving that. But if we are talking about success.... why are we doing the same thing like many people and think that is success?

I mean, success doesn't have a fixed terms, but imagine if you gone through the same thing and you achieved success after retirement, I did the same thing and achieve the same success as you do, everyone did exact same thing and achieve the same thing.... is this really success when everyone is doing and achieving the same thing? Is success means everyone just gonna be the same?

Sure there are differences as in how many houses and cars we owned, which expensive countries we are afford to go, how much we able to offer our children to other country for their studies and enjoy their life, how much saving we have after retirement, how healthy we are after retirement...... but are those really matter? Putting all the major and minor differences aside, we are still living in one place and in the end, what we got is nothing other than education, career, wealth, fame..... Are you really satisfy with getting the same thing as everyone do to call yourself successful?

My emphasis is to encourage you to think further, create differences in life that distinct yourself from others, achieving success not by the means of others and not achieving what the society want you to achieve to convince yourself that you will be successful in that way. Are you happy from the depth of your heart thinking that you are going through all those stuff until retirement? Is your true desire exactly the same with what everyone trying to achieve?

Sticking back to actual life, we have unlimited moment that we convince ourself that we have no time to think about what we want and what we are doing now is the best for now, or precisely this is how things suppose to be. I urge you to give 100% thoughts in one moment to think and understand the true meaning behind "You only live once". If you are not going to do what's truly matter and important for yourself that fulfill your life and soul to be the same type of success that you truly desire, are you going to be satisfy in your old age knowing that you did not do achieving what you truly want but following the path of everyone?

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25 Toxic Behaviors that keep people further away

Are you feeling that people keep getting themselves away from you and not willing to tell you what’s wrong? It’s not practical and it’s really bad when you want people to tell you whats wrong and what you had done wrong but people who are not willing to point out your mistake are really common. Unless they are too close to you and they ensure that you are the person that can accept critics and judgmental comment without any problem at all.

Rather than waiting for others to tell you what’s wrong with you, you need to know a list of toxic behavior that can make people stay further away from you. Learning all these toxic behavior won’t make you perfect, but at least you can reduce a list of mistakes that people doesn’t want, and it could be hard for you to realize them without anyone telling you.

1. Exaggerate Behavior in Public

This include screaming as loud as you want, singing anytime or anywhere (especially if your voice is not that nice), grabbing other people stuff, adding or tagging people on Facebook without permission, and etc. To make the list longer, you can try to recall how people in the public irritates you and you thought that they should not behave that way which can disturb the others.

2. You make yourself a negative person

People prefer to meet people who are rich with joy and happiness in their life. Everyone do have their own time when they face obstacles and sadness. But people do not want to see you repeating about your own negative emotion and listening to your same sad life story every single time.

Telling your negative life story doesn’t make you a negative person, but when you hold onto it all the time, did not put too much effort or the right effort solving them, and then repeat the same story to everyone, you eventually make people feel that you are a person with a sad life, every time they in touch of you, they gotta listen to the same negative thing again. Do remember that everyone has their own difficult life too.

3. You are too emotional

When people ask something from you, and you reply them with rage or an excessive manner, and then you make the result of your response way too much comparing to how people ask you in the beginning. That’s how you make it too emotional. No one like to be treated emotionally, especially when they keep experiencing your emotional response too many times, and often they are not informed about your reason for being emotional.

You have to face this, no matter how emotional you felt like, everyone is innocent when they are not the key reason for you to be emotional.

4. Your judgements are always based on fallacies or own opinion

Nothing wrong having your own judgement, but becareful with emphasizing too much in a subject with extreme thoughts that differ from real life facts. People dislike unrealistic explanation that are produced greatly depending on one person mindset or point of view. It's the same with you, for example, dislike a certain group of people because you had bad experience for such group in the past, and then you give harsh comment about them based on the particular experience you had last time. You need to learn that it was from the past and it has absolutely nothing to do with the different individuals or group.

5. Too possessive when people show least interest on you

Sometimes you want to get certain attention for others, but there's no saying that people should treat you the same way you treat them, and when you trying to ask for others to respond back as much as how you approach them, they eventually feel irritated or to some extend, felt threaten like you trying to invade their "safe zone".

This is commonly happen between a salesman and his customer. Some salesman try to get closer to their targeted customer to explain their products or services even though the customer reject him and trying to walk away. As the salesman trying to get much closer to explain more and hope that the customer will stop and listen, the customer walk faster instead. Same concept.

6. You refuse to solve problem

Sadly, this world is all about problem solving. There are tons of real life problem that people don't solve or people don't care, but it's natural that people want to lead a life without problem. You probably know someone or certain people who only wants to talk about problem, but they never put effort to solve anything.

It's the same when you repeat same type of problem to others even if you know what is wrong and how you should deal with it, refuse to solve the problem give the impression that you are living with the same problem all the time, and most likely you will fall into a deep cycle of endless problem later in your life.

7. You dislike agree with others

No one likes to agree with your words and thoughts all the time and being criticize on their own idea and thinking. The conventional stuff, 4+3 equal to 7, same goes for 5+2, 6+1, and so on. Your 4+3 equal to 7, so does others who thinking of 5+2 and 6+1.

8. You always comment that people are not as experience as you

You may have gone through something that make yourself far more experience than others, but don't forget that everyone is granted with 24 hours just like you. They might not be as experience as you in one thing but they definitely better than you at other field. As a matter of fact, no one likes people who keep putting themselves in high position all the time and talking in a way that others are lower than them.

9. Putting your mask at specific time

It's scary because people eventually get dilemma on which mash they are looking at when they know that you have too much of masks, and you practice changing masks at specific time. At one point you be good with this person, but behind the stage you talk bad about him/her. People couldn’t help to think that you might do the same behind his/her back too.

People prefer to be more relax and less cautious being with a person. It's difficult for a person to breath when they had their mask on, and it's tough for others because they couldn't what is the hidden expression behind those masks.

10. Keep doing things that you dislike and complaint about it all the time

You might not know how funny it seems when people keep seeing others doing something, and then complain about what they had just did. Sometimes it's quite understandable especially when it comes to work or we are doing something for other reason, despite dislike on the process itself. But that's something you need to work out to accept the process rather than hating what you did.

11. Telling people that you are always bad

This will always leave people speechless after you done it too many times. Not only that you are demonstrating that you are extremely lacking of confident, it also cause people to think of you as really bad at something or many things not because you are in fact really bad at it, but you are indirectly convincing others to think so,

12. Thinking that letting out anger is good and constantly doing it

Keeping your anger deep inside the heart is not healthy, I truly understand that. But who in this world doesn’t feel angry or mad when the situation make them so? But you don’t see people keep screaming and shouting whenever they want, because it’s appropriate to learn to control your temper and resolve your anger into behavior that helps in the situation, not practicing your negative feeling on others and think about how to handle things later.

13. Put little effort, but tell people you tried your best

You are not even trying, and people dislike people who refuse to put much effort but wanted to get something great in return. It’s actually really obvious when you put too little effort in one thing because all efforts definitely produce something. You can’t just spend all time and effort in something but you get no result at all, unless you put effort into the wrong thing. In the end of the day, end result tells it all.

You don’t need to list out all the specific details of your effort, but you need to be able to explain to people what you had learnt and experience even if you can’t achieve the expected result, rather than saying “I tried my best” and expect people to belief so.

14. Telling people to follow your path

Everyone has their own successful story and experience, so do you and I. It’s greatly depending on different individual when comes to following the path of others. If a person foresees a specific path that they want to follow, they will eventually seek for it without anyone telling them. When you try to convince people to do and think things the same way you do even though you think it’s beneficial for them, you need to understand that what you think is good for them doesn’t mean that’s what they want and how they want things to be.

15. Try to involve yourself in everything

It can be helpful sometimes, but not all the time especially when people did not ask for it. This can be an act of kindness but you need to know that sometimes people don’t need more people to involve into their business. And in serious case, if you keep trying to involve in every single matter of a person, he or she probably felt that someone is invading their life for every life event and decision they wanted to make, which is like your father trying to get involve when you meet with your friends, like he wanted to know how you usually talk & behave, and what type of topic you usually talk about, although he has no such intention at all.

16. Keep talking about yourself and emphasize on your achievements

Sharing is caring, but you need to know what you are sharing now. First of all, it can be offending when you keep emphasize on your own self and achievement when you just want to share your happiness with them. It’s like you keep talking about how good is your boyfriend or girlfriend, while the other people do not have a partner. Second, you probably make other people bored because you are like forcing them to read a biography of yourself with all your great achievement. Seriously, no matter how close you are with the others, they usually not really into this.

17. You constantly curse people

No matter what reason you have for cursing people, others definitely be afraid that you might do the same at them one day later. Because you are equip with such habit and you are practicing on it. Furthermore, you can’t expect people to feel okay when you constantly cursing people just because your feeling so, because it’s really ugly.

18. You give minimal response

Obviously, it’s very boring. It’s like talking to a cat and the cat don’t really care about you. When you try to start up a conversation with others, you definitely don’t expect them to reply with a simple “Okay” or few words answer, which is for the sake of respond to what you had said, and has no intention to continue on with your conversation.

19. Practice excessive rights on everything

When you feel that the restaurant is not giving it’s best service, you make a huge fuss about it and want to see the manager because you think you are qualified to make a complaint. That’s partially right but you always need to remember that paying for food/service doesn’t make you the boss. So when you have the right on something, always remember that your rights are granted by them, and you don’t deserve everything.

20. Being sarcastic on every serious issue

I believe everyone should understand this very well. No one like to talk about a serious matter but the other person reply you with joke and make fun of what you said.

21. You think it’s alright to cause little physical pain to others

Smack a little on your friend’s shoulder probably feel that’s what close friends do. But the problem is, you don’t know how much pain they had felt when you do so. It can be very wrong to think that you are only putting very little strength when you doing it, while you are touching on real flesh and bone so you can’t expect your “little strength” definitely don’t make people feel anything. And, it’s natural that no one like to feel painful, no matter how friendly you think it is.

22. You demand without giving back anything

Taking things for granted is a slow and effective relationship killer in many cases, especially when you got close with another person. Some times it could be a small thing, like eating in your friend's place frequently. As time goes by, your friend eventually felt that he or she is there just to be your free chef if you never give anything in return. It's not the matter of being greedy for human nature, just that you need to remember that people need to sacrifice on time and effort for your demand and it's unnatural for them to do so like they have unlimited resources for it.

23. You talk all you want, all the time

The thing that would goes wrong when you keep talking is making people feel bored, and you might turn good mood into bad mood. I'm serious about this. Imagine if you are having a good mood to spend the day enjoying great food and nice place, but there is just somebody there non-stop talking about random stuff about his or her own interest and point of view, that's more than enough to destroy a nice day that you could had spent to make the day nice and relax. And it's not even considered as a conversation when the other person just keep on with endless talking.

24. You exaggerate on someone wrongful behavior

Someone might make mistake, that doesn't means it's alright to make it sounds worst for the others. Even if you don't consider that others deserve another chance so you should stop mentioning about his or her wrongful behavior, you are not honest and accusing others. The one who commit the mistake could be wrong, but it's the same for you to commit another type of wrongful behavior.

25. You blame others for your behavior and feeling

I have to assume that you are not a child, and even teenager begin to learn to take up their own responsibility for all feeling and behavior of their own. It's subjective for the feeling part as feeling usually depending on external event, but you should not use it as the reason for your own behavior because that's purely depending on your own decision. So you can't hit someone that say that they are asking for it, even if they really ask you to. So, you really need to learn to be an adult to know how to be responsible for whatever you do and think.

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Cruel Fact & Reality

WARNING: This article can be really sensitive and deep right into your heart without any disguise to make you feel better while pointing out people weaknesses. It's recommended that you keep on reading only if you could accept it and put your personal feeling aside.

Life is cruel, we all can say it very well. I heard too many people saying the same thing and telling me this. I'm pretty sure that they are not totally confident that they are clear of the cruel facts in the world and had passed the stage that accepting every cruelty of life, it is just a way for them to express their depression when they know that it is cruel but they can't do anything about it.

Just like you, I'm also a human that survive in this world and all of us, willingly or not, need to learn the cruelty of life. Not just to see how pitiful this world is, and not to feel desperate that our power is too small to change anything, but to clearly understand what are they and we need to learn one important fact: how we should think about it and how are we suppose to get rid or avoid from it.

• If you are poor, but you have no saving and not willing to seek better way to earn more, you deserve it.
  
  
• If you want someone better, but you are not putting effort to be a better person so you couldn’t get any better partner, you deserve it.
  
  
• If you are fat, you are not happy about it but you are not willing to exercise and control your diet, you deserve it.
  
  
• If you are not good at something, you want it but you don’t improve your skill, you deserve it.
  
  
• If you dislike your current job, but you still stick to it despite how many complaints you had each day, you deserve it.
  
  
• If you really dislike your partner, but you do not want to let go due to your own personal reason or feeling, you deserve it.
  
  
• If you hate the current situation you are in, but you are not willing to move away from it, you deserve it.
  
  
• If you are not brave enough, and you lose what you desire, you deserve it.
  
  
• If you feeling desperate, but you choose to do nothing and let things happen by itself, you deserve it.
  
  
• If you are disliked by many people, but you don’t do anything to improve people impression on you, you deserve it.
  
  
• If you don’t treat yourself well, so others treat you the same way you treat yourself, you deserve it.
  
  
• If you are tired of achieving people expectation, but you never reject people expectation, you deserve it.
  
  
• If you are sad that people never learn what you truly feel and think, but you never voice out, you deserve it.
  
  
• If you couldn’t find get a partner you want to get one but you ask too much and didn’t give any patient and true effort, you deserve it.
  
  
• If you are facing lots of problem, but you usually choose to avoid or run away, you deserve it.
  
  

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Real Fact About Maturity

Maturity is a high achievement that define a person advance level of thinking that has unique self value and able to produce massive benefits to own self and people around him or her in a life long process. It's something that need to try really hard to achieve and advance to that level. That's how many people think, although I consider it's not really true to think that we need to put great effort to become mature, because it's not all about being mature in thinking.

Most often, people prefer being mature instead of another side. The common reasons for such preference is mainly due to mature thinking manage to produce many good decision making and reduce troubles in life, and in many occasions. Therefore many people think that mature is all about thinking in a mature way, but did not realize what mature people usually do is not just thinking things right, but also consider and behave in the right way using good logical thinking to achieve the great result that is good in many ways. Therefore, maturity is a mindset, but it's depending on your perception and behavior to determine how mature you are.

Beware, there are a lot of fallacies out there about maturity. One of the common fallacies is to think that we will eventually became mature as we aged, which is totally wrong. Maturity is a life long process, there is no end of it. And there is no absolute truth to say that people definitely get mature when they aged, because you can always find people with older age decide something that is totally against the goods of many people but only good in his or her own mindset. Also, been through and experience a lot in one same thing doesn't mean you are mature enough to make the right decision. This can be subjective especially if a person begin something with an incorrect mindset.

To ensure that you are on the right track to maturity, don't try to think in a mature way because there is no absolute guideline for people to follow to make you a mature person. Rather, you need to practice sound and ethical thinking and behavior to get to that level, and to make everything better in your life.

You can find large amount of guide or list from internet about what to think and do to become mature, below are some list to begin with:

Mindset & Behavior for Maturity

1. Time is limited, every seconds can cause big change in life.
2. Saving won't make anyone rich.
3. Money don't bring happiness, earning more doesn't guarantee rich and happiness
4. Spending more doesn't bring back the right value and more capital, spending right is.
5. Problems are not meant to be worried over and over again, it's meant to be solved. If you can't solve it, you are not the right person to worry about.
6. It's important to meet people who are rich in knowledge and experience, not only rich in money.
7. Opportunity is reachable only when you make effort to reach it.
8. Regrets can be a misery for a lifetime
9. Your trouble is meant to be shared with people that can be trusted, instead of keep it all in your heart
10. Success don't comes to you as you aged.
11. What people said about you is what they think, not your actual self. It's true only when you accept it.
12. True value is hidden, can only be seen by heart and true understanding. And it's not measured by the size and unit in physical term.
13. "Failed to plan is plan to failed" is always true.
14. Truth is always better than rumors.
15. Success and achievement is produced by own effort, not given by people.
16. When involve in a negative situation, think about how to improve and avoid mistake yourself, and not how other people should be blamed and changed.
17. Understand that ego should be thrown away and accept lose, defeat, and mistake of ownself.
18. True success is not how many people think that you are successful.
19. Accept that there are always people who are better than you.
20. Clearly aware and appreciate every good and bad things in your life.
21. Understand that success, power, and wealth is nothing important than true happiness.

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